


Blank Stares

by Life_From_The_Ashes



Series: Tales of the Battle Wives [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Campaign 1 (Critical Role), Clash at Daxio, Episode 77, F/F, Kima can't stand to see Allura hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 05:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29621250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Life_From_The_Ashes/pseuds/Life_From_The_Ashes
Summary: Kima can't stand the blank look on Allura's face. Her brilliant wizard reduced to a mindless animal. Whatever it is that Xanthas did, he is going to pay for it.Alternatively, Kima's perspective of C1 Ep77 "Clash at Daxio"
Relationships: Kima/Allura Vysoren
Series: Tales of the Battle Wives [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2176395
Comments: 10
Kudos: 36





	Blank Stares

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Lovelies!
> 
> After seeing Allura and Kima together in C2 I've been reminded of how much I love these battle wives. This is my take on Kima's perspective of Allura being Feebleminded. I've taken some liberties; I know we don't know exactly when they got together in the series, but as this is the first time we see them kiss I decided to play around with the idea that this is actually their first kiss. I also took some of the dialogue directly from the episode when Vox Machina is there. 
> 
> Other than that, happy reading!

Kima paces restlessly, on edge since Xanthas’ unexpected arrival. They had been uneasy when they were notified of someone requesting entrance to the fort, but Allura recognized him as one of the missing council members and he was quickly brought inside. Everyone was eager for some more detailed information on what was happening in Emon. From the side of the room Kima kept watch and let the others ask questions and adapt plans based on the new intel. Something was keeping her alert and when Xanthas requested to speak with Allura alone, citing sensitive information, that feeling grew stronger.

Despite Kima’s protests Allura agreed to the request and offered to continue their discussion privately in another room nearby. With a quick squeeze of Kima’s shoulder Allura left with a small grin to try and calm Kima’s nerves. It didn’t work. So, while the other leaders finished a few conversations and left the room back to their duties, Kima remained – restlessly pacing.

As she makes another loop and passes the center table Kima lets out a huff and drums her fingers along the top in impatience. Allura is the one who’s good at the management side of war. Kima is a soldier; all this waiting and preparing is driving her mad. A part of her misses the adventuring life, even being posted at The Platinum Sanctuary allowed for her to go out on missions.

If she were honest with herself, she would admit that she was finding it harder and harder to leave Allura’s side. It took all that she had to walk away when they disbanded after sealing away Thordak; citing duty and biting her tongue to keep the words she always wanted to say from coming out. As the years went by it got easier, keeping her distance with a part of her regularly wondering how her favorite wizard was doing. That all changed when Kima went into the Underdark.

It never crossed her mind that the sanctuary would contact Allura when she was gone longer than intended. Nor could she have imagined the wizard send out an adventuring group to check up on her. Seeing Allura after all those years was hard. Even after the time apart they still had connection and relished in their friendship. However, there was a wall separating them that Kima, though she would never admit it, was terrified to try and cross. It was harder to leave the second time; all the feelings she had pushed down were brought back to the surface.

Throwing herself back into her work at the temple kept Kima distracted. That was until Vox Machina came with word of dragons destroying Emon. Her heart leapt into her throat at the news despite their assurances that that Allura had escaped unscathed. Until she could see Allura safe and sound she couldn’t quell that panic. Without a thought she joined them and before long found herself in Whitestone where those who escaped were gathering. The days waiting for Allura to arrive safely were some of the longest in her life. Only the unbearable thought of her putting Allura in danger if she would to follow her kept Kima from leaving.

When Allura finally arrived Kima didn’t even have a thought of leaving and returning to Vasselheim. She stayed as Allura’s shadow, keeping her safe while she worked to protect everyone else. Those same words rested at the back of her throat, but Kima is content and doesn’t want to risk the happiness she has. Kima prides herself on her strength, but she isn’t strong enough to chance hearing Allura telling her to leave. Here at Allura’s side she will stay, for as long as she lets her.

Ask Kima does another lap around the room, debating how upset Allura would be if she were to interrupt at this point, the sound of a door slamming reaches her ears. With a dash into the hall she’s only able to catch the billow of a cloak disappearing towards the front yard of the fort. Scowling she makes her way to the room Allura is utilizing for her talk with Xanthas.

“Sorry Allura, but I’m coming in.” She warns before throwing open the door. The room is dark and silent, adding to Kima’s unease. “Ally?” She walks into the room, looking for signs of the wizard. Once she’s fully in and the door has closed behind her she catches movement form the corner of her eye. Turning she jumps slightly as the familiar form of Allura tackles her into a hug.

“Don’t scare me like that.” Kima scolds her gently with a small smile, carefully setting down the Holy Avenger. “What happened? You should’ve told me you were done your little chat.” Allura lets out a whimper as she holds on tighter. The smile immediately drops from Kima’s face.

“Ally – ”

The bells warning of an incoming attack start ringing from the north gate, interrupting Kima. Allura lets out a shriek and tries to curl herself further into Kima, frightened whimpers escaping her. “What’s wrong Ally? What did he do?”

Gingerly Kima examines Allura, trying to find an obvious injury. Allura is limp in her hands, letting herself be manhandled. Previous attempts to look for wounds had been met with her hands being batted away by the wizard, even when she was blatantly hurt. Allura was too proud to allow such treatment without complaint; Kima never thought she’d miss that behaviour. Heart hammering in her chest Kima prays to Bahamut for strength and forces herself to remain calm.

“It’s okay Ally.” Kima stares into Allura’s eyes, blank and empty of the intelligence she’s known for, looking for a flicker of understanding that doesn’t come. “I’ll take care of you. You don’t have to worry.” Despite not finding any injuries Kima decides to use lay on hands; out of more desperation than anything if she’s being honest with herself. She is not prepared for Allura’s full body flinch, trying to pull away and looking at her with panic, a low wine escaping. This moment will forever haunt her, but she doesn’t have time to think about it.

“Hey. Hey.” Clumsily Kima comforts and sooths Allura, coaxing her to let her finish that spell. “Is that any better Ally?” Allura grunts and curls up in her arms again. Over her head Kima fights back tears. She doesn’t know what can cause this, let alone how to fix it. Kima holds her close, not knowing what to do besides keeping her calm. Her brilliant Ally, behaving like a mindless animal.

The fighting has grown louder, screams and the sound of metal hitting armor. If she stays and the fight grows closer Allura could be hurt. An explosion impacts, shaking the walls of the fort, Allura sobs and curls in on herself. Kima takes a deep breath and steadies herself. Standing she coaxes Allura to her feet.

“Common Ally, you need to come with me.” Slowly she leads Allura to the back of the room, “Stay here Ally.” She lowers Allura where she would be hidden, “I’ll come get you when it’s safe, okay?” As she takes a step back Allura moves to follow her. It breaks Kima’s heart to force her to stay, but a battle is no place for her right now. Closing the door firmly behind her she lets out a couple of silent sobs before steeling herself for combat.

She lets the anger take hold and pushes everything else down. Moving through the hall at the ready she is pleasantly surprised to see Xanthas making his way in her direction. His eyes widen as he catches sight of her. He tries to open his mouth to speak, but she doesn’t give him the chance as she charges into him - throwing him out into the yard on his back with a yell. Arching her great sword over her head she bellows, “Bahamut strike you down you knife-eared son of a bitch!”

Its only after she finishes her strikes that she notices that Vox Machina have returned. They’re tired, but a few of them cheer at her entrance. Vex flies overhead on her broom, arrow knocked down at Xanthas.

“I always thought you were a dick back in Emon, don’t fuck with me!” She’s glaring down at the man still on his back.

He puts on hand up, “Wait, I – ” An arrow lodges itself in his shoulder, cutting him off. “No!” laughing nervously, “We can – ” A second arrow enters directly between his eyes and he goes limp.

“Sorry Grog!” Vex called out, hand on her head.

Growling Kima looks up at her, “He was mine!” Allura’s tearstained face flashes in her mind.

“No Kima, he was mine.” In anger Kima drives her blade into his chest before moving forward to help out with the rest of the battle.

\---

When the fighting is done Kima is itching to return to Allura, but if she were here she’d want to know what the damages are. So Kima meets up with General Elle and the other leaders at the fort. Before long Vox Machina approaches and Kima watches their eyes dance across everyone gathered, searching. The General thanks them for the assistance before leaving with the rest of the group. Kima approaches them, tense and anxious. Despite her best effort she can’t stop her fists from shaking.

“Xanthas betrayed us all. He arrived. Alone. Bloodied. Asked for aid and protection.” She takes a deep breath, “Since Allura recognized him we let him in. He was here for a short time, saying how bad things had become in Emon and he spoke with Allura alone. Something sensitive. We found her ten minutes later.”

“What?”

Scanlan is the one who speaks, but they’re all looking at her in disbelief. Kima closes her eyes and Allura’s face fills her vision. Shaking her head she moves toward the entrance.

“Come with me.”

Behind her she can hear Vox Machina panicking, but the need to return and see that Allura is okay is more important than soothing their fears. Her jaw is clenched tight as she fights back tears. Carefully she opens the door. For a moment she just stands there, readying herself for seeing Allura in that state again. Kima turns as Vox Machina catches up to her, eyeing them, before taking a step into the room.

“It’s okay, friends are here.”

Allura is curled up where Kima left her, eyes wide and red rimmed. Kima moves to the side and lets the group move in past her. Allura quickly stands and gives Keyleth a quick hug. Kima can she her shaking and curses herself. She should have stayed with her.

“Are you okay?” Keyleth asks her as she pulls back a bit, “What happened? We thought you were dead for a second.”

Allura backs away whimpering and shaking her head. “Oh fuck. Oh. Fuck.” Allura makes more distressed sounds as Keyleth raises her voice. “What’s your name? What’s your name?” She simply shakes her head, tears in her eyes. Kima takes a step forward without thinking, but freezes when Keyleth speaks again.

“She’s been feebleminded.” Keyleth looks to Kima, “Was it feeblemind?”

“I – I don’t know what that is, I don’t…” She racks her brain, but she has no recollection what that, she assumes, spell is. Still hope fills her, if they know what this is then maybe… “Can you help her?!”

“Yes. It’s a restoration spell.” At that Pike moves forward, Kima’s eyes following her, one hand on her holy symbol that is now with a warm whitish-orange glow. Her fingers spark with light reaching out towards Allura, who gasps and flinches back.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Pike soothes, “I’m going to help you.” Keyleth moves in to help keep Allura calm. Kima bights her lip, ready to move forward if needed. Timidly Allura reaches forward and grabs Pike’s hand. The glow moves from the gnome and up Allura’s arms. She tries to pull away with a wine, but Pike holds her firm. The magic flows through her and lifts off her face like a steam.

Kima watches Allura’s eyes roll back into her head before they close. When they open again, they have the familiar spark of intelligence back.

“You are a godsend, my dear.”

They all cheer as Pike gives her a hug. The air leaves Kima’s lungs in relief. As Allura lifts Pike into the air Kima tries to will her heart to slow down.

“You’re heavy now.” Allura puts the gnome back on the ground as she laughs.

“I just have so much armor on.”

“That you do, that you do.” Kima charges through, pushing past Grog and Vex as Allura looks up. She wraps her arms around the wizard’s waist.

“Don’t do that again!” All the fear and worry she had pushed down comes out in her voice. Allura holds her close as she gently rubs Kima’s head.

“I’m sorry. I should have been careful.” She sighs, “We needed allies. I didn’t know – ”

“You shut up.” Kima interrupts, pulling back slightly. She had feared she wouldn’t be able to fix what had been done to Allura. With the relief flowing through her she doesn’t think as she reaches up and pulls Allura into a chaste kiss. She can hear the members of Vox Machina cheering and ignores them as Allura pulls her into her chest. Kima allows some of the tears to fall as the rest of them discuss the details of their next steps. She lets herself enjoy the moment and calm down.

When she pulls away the others are bouncing ideas off of each other. Kima hastily wipes away the remaining tears. Allura is looking down at her and Kima catches her eyes. She punches the wizard in the shoulder, who responds in kind and rubs her shoulder.

“I know.”

“You know.” Kima nods and walks away with a huff, her lip still quivering. As she leaves the room she outs a glare on her face and beelines to her quarters. A few people pass by, but they give her a wide berth.

Alone in her quarters Kima lets out a breath when the door closes behind her. She carefully places the Holy Avenger in the corner of the room and with practiced ease begins removing her armor. When she’s done Kima presses her face into her hands and lets out a scream.

“Oh Bahamut, what did I just do?” Cursing herself the panic and fear from earlier takes over. Every time she closes her eyes she sees Allura pulling away from her in fear, unable to understand what is happening. Even knowing she is now okay thanks to Pike can’t stop the vision her mind keeps drawing forward. The fact she kissed Allura wasn’t helping either. Would this be the time Allura sends her away? She was too proper to freak out while Vox Machina was in the room, but once they’re alone… Well, she might have just ruined everything.

Kima is brought back to the present with soft knocking at the door. Steadying her breath, she scrubs her face and moves to open the door. Allura stands there, shy smile on her face.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course.” Tense, Kima steps aside. Relieved to see Allura still there and whole. She walks in and promptly sits on the edge of the bed. Closing the door Kima turns to look at the other woman.

“How are you feeling?” Kima is the first to break the silence, looking her over with her eyes.

“Much better know.” Allura laughs tightly, clearing her throat, “That was…Unsettling to say the least.” Clenching her fists Kima grimaces.

“Yeah.” Her voice cracks and she looks away from Allura’s face.

“Kima – ” Still looking away, Kima cuts her off.

“Well, at least Pike was able to help you. Good thing they got back when they did, ey?”

“Kima – ”

“And with Syngorn back we should be able to move forward with an attack soon. No time to relax now, we’re almost at the fun part.” Even without looking Kima knows Allura is scowling at her as she makes her way to the far side of the room. If there’s one thing Allura hates it’s being interrupted, but Kima can’t bring herself to allow her to say the words just yet.

“Kima – ”

“After the fight is over…” Kima can hear the frustration in Allura’s voice when she’s interrupted again. Words tumbling out of Kima’s mouth, “Well, I’m sure you’ll want to rebuild your tower. I wouldn’t want to be in your way.” Closing her eyes Kima braces herself, knowing she can’t keep this up forever. Before she can continue her rambling she’s turned around by a hand on her shoulder.

With a determined look on her face Allura sits on her knees in from of her. She pulls Kima into a searing kiss. Kima gasps, eyes wide, before she sinks into Allura’s arms. With no audience Kima lets herself go and fully enjoy the experience. Allura took her gasp as permission to deepen the kiss. Kima can’t stop the moan that leaves her throat, a matching one coming from Allura.

The two eventually pull apart, panting. Feeling herself flush Kima takes in the light pink blush painted over Allura’s slightly smirking face.

“Are you going to let me speak now, Kima?”

“Maybe not if you’re going to keep shutting me up like that.” Kima flashes a smirk of her own and lets out a soft laugh as Allura flushes further. She smacks Kima’s arm and the pair share a smile.

“I’m sorry I scared you today.”

“I should’ve been there.”

“I should have been more careful.”

“I hope you know I’m never letting you out of my sight again.” Allura laughs,

“You’ll have to leave eventually.” The unsaid _again_ hanging between them.

“I’d stay if you asked me.” Kima whispers, “I would have then as well.” She grabs Allura’s hand, looking down, “Honestly Ally, I don’t think I can bring myself to leave you again.”

“And I don’t know if I’d survive watching you go again.” With one finger Allura lifts Kima’s chin, “There’s nothing I regret more than not saying anything as you walked again.” Kima shakes her head,

“We’ve been fools, haven’t we?”

“The biggest fools in all of Exandria.” Allura cups Kima’s face, “I should have asked this years ago. Lady Kima, my best friend, will you stay by my side?”

“There is nothing I want more.” Smiling brightly Kima kisses Allura, still revelling that she can. “After all this dragon stuff is over we’ll figure out the details.”

“Agreed.” The blush has returned to Allura’s face, “Until then we will keep each other safe.”

“Always.”

There was no way to know what tomorrow will bring, and danger still lurks overhead, but here, in this moment, Kima couldn’t be happier.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think below. 
> 
> I've put this in a series as I might expand a bit more. I have some ideas for the teleport into the ocean and the wedding, but I don't make any promises.


End file.
